It has been a while since I came to my own blog, so I am not surprised that no one else came.

Writing a blog is difficult for me. I don't always feel comfortable sharing personal feelings. Especially when I don't know who might read it.

Life has been good. This summer I experienced a little Reiki with a friend's mother, who is a Master. It is a wonderful way to experience life. Difficult to adopt, but if you can- a great way to pass through this world. I started on my path recently.

This summer has been slow, which gave me the time and focus to read. I am reading three books. I never thought I would be the kind of person who juggles while reading books, but what do we mortals know, eh?

Life as an artist is fascinating to say the least. As a friend said recently, if you are not okay with the idea of not knowing, then you may not be in the right profession. In this age of knowledge through the internet, where any information is available at your finger tips, we still don't know so much. But we forget that.

Science and technology makes us believe we can know everything, but we can never really know human beings. And as long as that variable exists, we will remain in the unknown. I don't know how you will respond to this blog entry. I can speculate, but I can never know.

On that note....goodbye till the next time I have an urge to write here.

I was watching Sanjaya Malakar on American Idol yesterday (March 27th 2007), and thought about how he is handling all that is going on in his life right now. What does he think about? How does he feel?

And then he came out with a mohawk made out of all of his hair that made me cringe. I thought "this is it this guy has lost it". But then he performed and it suited him. He seemed to embrace what the competition has brought him, and he is running with it. I am not saying he is a good singer, let alone a great one. But what amazes me about him is his spirit. He is young and at such an age he is dealing with National embarassment. And he is making BIG choices every week because he seems to not care anymore. He is out there, and having fun while he is at it.

I almost felt jealous of him then. In graduate school all the teachers tell us to make BIG choices. I still have a hard time figuring out what that means when a specific audition comes around. We can't all adorn a mohawk! So, what does it mean to make BIG choices- whether in life or in your career as an actor or otherwise? Why do we have to make BIG choices?

All I can say is Sanjaya has inspired me to at least try to make sense of it, as opposed to running away from it. There all these sayings: "Live your life Kingsize" (a cigarette advertisement), "Dream big", etc. (you all are welcome to add to the list). How does one do it? Am I already living my life KINGSIZE? If not, how can I make it happen? Do I have to live my life that way? If not, is there something wrong with me? Phew....

I can say honestly, I do want to live LARGE (not sure is that is a saying). I think we all want that. But something keeps us from it. Some of us live small lives so others can live largely. But then is that just a convenient way to allow yourself not to try? hmm.....

Well, all I have are questions...... LARGE answers are welcome! Okay...I will take small ones too. What is the saying beauty comes in small peices? Or life happens in small peices? Dammit.....I will always be an immigrant! English is my second language, even though these days I speak it 100% of the time. Okay, I need to stop now. All your thoughts are welcome. I would love to hear what you all have to say.

Dear friends,

I want to make a documentary, and I need help from you if you are an actor, or know an actor.

Documentary is about how actors deal with dry phases in their professional lives.

Why I want to make this: I am going through a dry phase right now. I have gone through many before. Everytime I have a weird experience with it. I feel helpless at having a handle at it. In any way possible. It almost paralyses me. So, I want to interview actors (all races and ages) to find out how they deal with it. At the end of it all I hope to get a better understanding of the profession of acting, and a better handle on the demon called the dry spell. I want to learn from fellow actors what I have been unable to figure out on my own. I also hope that this will help many other actors who feel like me. Also, it may be a very good tool for beginning actors to know. Many people joine the industry on a whim, and this may be able to give them a better understanding of the profession they are about to embark upon. At least that is the hope.

So, here is how you can help me.

· I would like to interview you or an actor you know.

· Ideally, I would like to interview the actor in their apartment or a place that they feel is very safe and their own.

· I will need about 2 hours of their time.

· I would like to know a little bit about them before I meet, so I may want to talk to them on the phone or via email.

· I have my own camera, but I may use existing light in their apartment and move it a bit.

· If they don't mind, I might want to interview their partner or children. This is a may be.

· This an independent documentary, with no hope to make any money out of it. if there ever occurs any opportunity to make money from it, I will figure out how we can all partake in that. This is something I need to learn more about, so if you know anything abouot this, please let me know.

· Any advice or suggestions are welcome.

Thanks so much for your help. Please feel free to email me.

Best,

Deepti Gupta

www.deeptigupta.com

To begin truly writing a blog let me begin with what I am doing these days.

Well, I am taking an Improv for Actors class at the PIT in New York City. We improvise from stage pictures we create. This is difficult to explain, but the classes are a lot of fun. There are only 5 of us in the class. We are not learning to be funny just for the sake of being funny. It is more about being honest to your partner, your situation, and your character, and see what happens. We are supposed to do a final showing when the class comes to an end. I shall post more information on that later.

Other than that, I am teaching Hindi at ABC Language School. I do this to make extra money on the side. It has been slow since this year started. I hope it picks up.

My husband, Larry Pontius, is a writer. Here is a link to his web-blog. http://myspace.com/larrypontius
He is a wonderful writer. These days he is writing a new play (reading on March 26th), and a Pakistani TV Soap.

As for me, I am looking for more work, and as always trying to keep a positive outlook.

Till next time.... as I heard somewhere: "Follow Your Fears"

So, I just created this blog. Hopefully I won't leave it empty.

I have many ideas on projects I would like to do, but I haven't done anything about them yet.

May be this blog will prove to be a platform for me to hash out my ideas.

Until next time....